1/04/2009
Lancets and alcohol I'm always exhausted when I get home from work. I take my scrubs off and just flop on the bed leaving lancets and alcohol swabs where they land. Tonight I took the day (night) off. I showed up but the person that was supposed to be off showed up too. I'm always ready to avoid work so I volunteered to go home. I went to Walmart and felt sorry for myself for not knowing more about dating and relationships and feelings and stuff I like to overthink about lately.
Piggybank search I have been looking for a plain, pink, pig-shaped coin bank for three days now. On my search for this I've seen blue, brown, red and freakin' "ballerina" piggybanks. They seem to come in every color and design but pink. Today I saw a big, pink one at Walmart but it had huge lettering on both sides in a rounded sans serif font saying 'My First Piggy Bank.' Um, no. I shouldn't be picky but I have a thing about fonts. The other design was of Winnie-the-Pooh balancing a honey pot on his belly or something. I hate Winnie. Mom said I should get one from ebay. I don't know. Acquiring one through ebay doesn't feel... special. Maybe I'll find my piggy in a yard sale someday or from someone. I don't want to buy it on ebay. I'll wait and let piggy come into my life. That little white pig (with the design I won't talk about) will do for now. Labels: thoughts
1/03/2009
December 29 I turned 25 Monday of this week. I worked that day. It was not a very fun birthday and I don't like getting older. I was gonna whine to my coworkers but the oldest one was probably in her 60s so I shut my mouth. When I was a teenager this was what I associated with the twenties: 20 - done with college (in the Philippines) Just thought I'd share that with you. Labels: thoughts
Last night I have no words. Just 'wow.' Thank you for the company. Labels: thoughts
12/26/2008
I'm coming over Labels: thoughts
12/20/2008
Hairdo I decided to get a haircut. This is what it looks like now. I got this from a fortune cookie from Pick Up Stix (Asian fastfood). Don't eat there. You will drown in soy sauce. I could hear stones forming in my kidneys. I finished my entire tray. Labels: thoughts
Marge!! Labels: thoughts
12/19/2008
Goodbye hair Labels: thoughts
11/27/2008
I'm still alive Hi guys. Happy Thanksgiving. I'm still alive. I quit my other job. I can actually blog now. I can also sleep without setting an alarm clock. What a concept. I hope you guys are OK. Take care of yourselves. Yourself. Whoever's still reading this blog. Labels: thoughts
11/14/2008
60 hours Labels: thoughts
11/05/2008
Yes on Prop 8 To everyone who voted yes on California's prop 8, FUCK YOU! Labels: thoughts
10/26/2008
You guys! It's been a while. Labels: thoughts
10/07/2008
Work Labels: thoughts
9/29/2008
The soul of a man I want to tell you so much through this blog but I'm so scared of sharing too much. I've yet to define that line but I don't want to cross it. I imagine myself writing without restraint all the time but I'm not sure how much is appropriate. This is not a counseling session. I will not have my innards strewn all over the place, that is how messy it could get, with only my gutless self to clean it up afterwards. This morning, in lieu of surrendering fully to my tendencies for self-disclosure, I give you these lyrics written by Oliver Sain from Fontella Bass' "The Soul of the Man:" Here's Susan Tedeschi's version of this song. The pain! Labels: thoughts
9/14/2008
Command prompt Labels: thoughts
9/06/2008
Nursing license I didn't tell you but I passed the licensure exam a couple of months ago. I didn't want to discuss this because I still don't have a job. I'm ashamed of this. There is really no excuse but that won't stop me from inventing some. I have been sending resumes and filling out forms online. In nursing school I had this thought (read: illusion) that because of the nurse shortage and broad healthcare field I would be able to pick, at the very least, my hospital department of choice. That's, what's the word I'm looking for, oh yeah: bullshit. Next week I'm going to three job fairs to Moving to California to find a job. I want to refer to this as an idea thrown around but when I tell you what's been happening lately you would believe otherwise. You see my mom (mom, I don't care if you read this) has been calling up relatives in California inquiring about nursing jobs, googling hospitals in California and browsing for job openings in hospitals there. I really need to move out and grow up. Labels: thoughts
9/05/2008
Blog stuff This is the whiteboard by my bed. That's the blog layout. I worked on this thing. I could have picked a template from Blogger.com with one click but no, I had to plan it out on a whiteboard, set up lighting and camera, gather sewing supplies, and embroider the header. I should be proud of this but I feel like people will drop by here and think, 'Wow, so much free time. Live alone?' I don't want to think 'Who cares?' but uh, actually, screw those people. Hmm, that sounds bitter. Yeah I'm bitter. Got a problem with that? Would you look at that? I got angry over nothing, ahaha. Labels: thoughts
A trail of blood sugar test lancets and alcohol wipes by the bedroom door
Today I bought this piggy because of the design but I won't talk about it
My birthday cake
21 - can't find a job
22 - boyfriend/girlfriend, working
23 - house/apt, long hair
24 - think they know everything
25 - best shape of his life
26 - kids, washing machines
27 - attending weddings
28 - 2 kids
29 - contraceptives
So sexy! I'm gonna model for Victoria's Secret now. *looks for lingerie* I just need lipstick and I'll be ready for my date tonight.
I will go ahead and 'paraphrase' this to "This is your chance to get lucky." (Omg, what am I saying? I will now pretend I didn't type that. But I won't delete it 'coz I think it's funny.)
I don't look it in the picture but I'm really excited! I'm just wondering about the stamp -- it's a stamp. I mean it's not an actual piece of paper, it's a stamped on stamp. You know, inked with a stamp. I'm not explaining this very well, huh?
I love this postcard. Can't wait to go!
I'm reading your letter with Sam Sook, the pig. The toilet paper is there 'coz I'm sick and don't have Kleenex. *blows nose* How am I gonna go on that date like this? *cough*
I'm working 60 hours a week. I have no time for anything. This is not good. I don't want this. I want to help my parents with expenses but I can't do this to myself. I know people say I'm young, I can do this. But I'm so, I don't know. I can't be a good nurse like this. But I just want to prove to [I-don't-know-who] that I can hold a job longer than 3 months. I can be an adult. That I've grown up. The more I work, the more grown-up I think I'm being. But I'm not happy at all. I can't sleep longer than 4 hours these days. I don't know if I'll ever get used to the night shift. I don't know. I don't know what to tell you. I really don't want the money. I just want to feel good about myself by being responsible but I don't know what that looks like.
That's all.
I'm so busy and tired these days. So much has happened. I had to go to the emergency room (as a patient), I had to take anti-HIV medication, boss threatened to fire me when I discussed my schedule, I got sick at work, I got hired at a hospital (orientation tonight), I've been taking erhu lessons weekly, my eating habits are getting worse and worse, I'm losing a lot of sleep, I'm making money, waaah, so much i haven't blogged about.
I cannot sleep....every tear I shed I know is wasted in vain...I know the man don't love me but he won't let me go. He controls my heart, my mind and my soul, and he's got the power to make me stay when I really want to go. The soul of a man turns my mind around.
It's 4:30 in the morning. I haven't slept. I'm studying command prompt basics so I can get rid of this folder that Windows won't delete for me. Good times with technology. Earlier tonight, oh, it's Sunday already... last night I tried installing Windows Vista Service Pack for the 30th time (This is not an exaggeration. It's a conservative estimate, actually.) and it failed again. I got a different error code this time. It's not progress but at least it's different. Please, whatever you do, don't buy Windows Vista. Don't buy Epson printers either. Also, don't get circumcised in the Philippines. I'm not even gonna hit Backspace on that last one. These are life lessons, ahahah. Goodnight. Good morning. Whatever.
beg look for a job, any healthcare-related job.
